I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
