My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
