Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
