i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
