part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
