dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
