I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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