pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
