That's when you crack a 10am beer
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
