Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
