Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
