She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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