do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
