my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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