i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
