She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
