I think I am morally bankrupt
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
