i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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