so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
