the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
