Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
