I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
