Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I understand Curling. That high.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
