the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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