My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
