In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
