Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
