And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
