me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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