Fuck appropriateness.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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