the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
