the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize