also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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