remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
