Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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