I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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