just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
