Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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