dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
