the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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