Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
