This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
