I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
