erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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