please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
