conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
