all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
