the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
