At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
