This is not my ceiling
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
