the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
