i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
