How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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