your room smells of hookers.
And success
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
