mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Lo siento on account of my penis...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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