i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
