I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
smell my finger.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
