You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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