Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
