It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
