I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
