i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
