I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I didn't notice because vodka
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
