I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
