If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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